EVERY TIME A DOOR SLAMS A PASTOR GETS HIS WINGS

“Next…”

“Hi. I’m Mrs. Jones. I sit in the third row every service, and…”

“I know who you are Mrs. Jones.”

“Well I know that but I wanted to make this official because it is an official thing we are doing here isn’t it?”

“Okay yeah go ahead.”

“Well, I think you should preach on the things that make people feel good but not so good that they won’t get the message, okay?”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means you should preach real good but not get too off or wacky.”

“Wacky? Wacky?

“Well, I think you know what I mean so you just do that…”

“Next.”

“Pastor, I think you should be cognizant of the fact that people work hard and are busy and need things that are strong but not so strong that it adds to our burden okay? Because life has many burdens and…”

“What do you mean ‘Preach strong?’”

“Okay, I mean strong like in doing it in a way that we get a good message but not something weak but good. You know, strong.”

“Okay, strong. I’ll try that. Next.”

“Pastor Bailey I really like that you are giving us this opportunity to tell you what to preach and, no, wait, not tell you what to preach but suggest, er, to tell you what we would like, or need, er…”

“So what is your, uh, suggestion?”

“So, my thing is I like those kind of Scriptures that are like verses of poetry, you know? I really like those especially because they look great on little wall plaques or bookmarks and I like when I can go to church and picture in my mind mountain vistas and seascapes and scenes of nature. So I think poetry verses are good.”

“Poetry verses? (Are you for real?) You mean Psalms?”

“So, I don’t know what that is but if its poetry verses then I guess yes…”

“Sigh… Next. Please.”

“Pastor, I think you do a great job but we need more teaching! I like real teaching so we can get in deep! Are you familiar with Matthew Henry? Now he could get in real deep and we could all learn…”

“You want me to read Matthew Henry Commentaries from the pulpit?”

“Well no, not especially, but like that, because we need real teaching!”

“Okay, thank you. Real teaching. Please close the door behind you. Thank you… What do we have so far Jennifer?”

“It looks like you are supposed to preach things that make people feel good but not so good that they don’t get the message. Nothing wacky. And it must be strong but not too strong because people are tired. And, oh, it must involve poetry verses and also be deep teaching. Deep. Teaching. Got that?”

“Are you sure this is in the contract?”

“Page 16, Clause 3.”

“Do I have to listen to anyone else tonight?”

“Only one more. It says you must seek five new members each week.”

“Each week!”

“Yes. I’ll get the last one… Who’s next out here?”

“Me!”

“Okay, come in…”

“Hello Pastor!”

“Hello. Well?”

“Here’s what I think. I think you should preach whatever the Lord puts on your heart.”

“Do I even know you?”

“I’m new.”

“Okay. So you’re new. Hi. I’m George Bailey, er, Pastor Bailey. Good to meet you. Your name?”

“I’m Clarence. And I know all about you! What’s important is that you obey the Lord. That’s my advice.”

“But I have to obey all those people! It’s in my contract.”

“I know, but…”

“And next week it’s five more! And then the next! I can’t do this! I must be off my nut! This can’t be happening! I wish I was never born!”

“Oh, you mustn’t say that! …Wait. …You know, I think that could work! …Okay, you were never born. You don’t exist.”

“Don’t exist! Wait a second! This all sounds familiar! Are you some kind of angel or something?”

“Why yes.”

“Great! Now you’re the new pastor too! Later! Don’t hold my calls, Jennifer…” (Slam)

.

© 2019 by RJ Dawson. All Rights Reserved.

Posted on December 6, 2022, in Current Events and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. This is so true RJ, I think I mentioned it once back when I was trying to find a church and I actually talked to the pastor as I entered a church one Sunday, he introduced himself and then sent me to a deacon and said this is the person I can go to if I have questions. Later in the year during a conversation with pastor, I asked why the sermons were always the same and why the actual teaching from the bible was the shortest segment of the entire service. He said because he has to do what the congregation wants him to do. I left that church as well.

    Like

    • Sandra, after a great born again experience decades ago, when the newness began to give way to additional reality, I began becoming aware of so much that was wrong, that just didn’t line up with the teachings and example of the Lord. As I continued my research I saw such things as this and the bigger picture. On the surface, why such “ministers” allow themselves to be compromised is not difficult to figure out. There are obvious benefits to obeying man rather than obeying God. Sometimes our obedience as Christians leave us all alone with none of such benefits. It is apparent that many if not most simply cannot or will not handle such a situation.

      A follower of the Lord Jesus desires most of all to have a close relationship with Him and do His will. This answers his or her greatest needs. When one has the Lord one has everything. Practically, this means all one’s needs will be met and provided for. Spiritually, it means the Lord will grant everything one’s heart desires in the spiritual realm. These needs may exist potentially but are there. They often must be activated by faith and trust in Him.

      Therefore, there is never any need to compromise. There is never any need to fear. The Lord is eternal and there is nothing He cannot do. When Christians trust primarily or only in man instead of God, their needs and fruit of spiritual desires will be severely limited. It is ALWAYS better to obey God and let the chips fall where they may, as it were.

      Any Christian minister who obeys his or her congregation first is unfit for service. In our present day America this likely constitutes the vast majority. But whatever. The Lord will always have His true ministers and they are out there though few and far between.

      Blessings to you

      “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits.” [Matthew 7:15-20]

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s