One model is as the socially popular Broad Way though it leads to eventual ruin. The other appears counterintuitive yet is the bountiful Way of Life.

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A REJECTION OF THE REAL

There are many things about our world that are very difficult to deal with. There are a great many realities that force us to face such facts though we would usually rather not and may even wish such facts did not exist. As we grow out of childhood some begin to become aware of the existence of an upcoming forced change of course and one’s eventual coerced embrace of hard truths. While other young ones or maybe most do not perceive this early on it eventually becomes quite evident. Many children do not want to leave their innocent carefree childhood life behind and embrace such difficult truths and would greatly prefer to maintain their status quo as children.

But future adulthood beckons. Young children may never wonder so much about the great mystery of adults, how they came to be, and the far-out idea that they were once children also. It is simply too much to fathom and for the most part does not compute. Their reality is such that they must be protected from life early on yet also must slowly learn to incorporate that which allows them to handle the next steps they must make to attain the growth they need. But all in good time.

Therefore, parents must on the one hand shield and protect their children in the present but on the other prepare them for the future. There is a right and a wrong way to do this. Not enough shielding and protecting is not good. Too much is also not good. Some children are overprotected which essentially stunts their growth and disallows them from developing properly. Without a course correction this makes them incapable of being able to handle life and forces them to have virtually ongoing proactive assistance. It simply does not help their maturation to have a helicopter mom flying around them all the time, providing their every trifling need, and giving them ultra-shielding and protection by her constant presence. Yet many other children are subjected to far too much freedom and mature content at early ages at a time when they cannot properly deal with the subject matter. This inevitably gets them in trouble. Most would much prefer a loving parent close by.

OUR HEAVENLY FATHER

One would think the Lord does not engage in either of these extremes while raising His own children. Of course, He doesn’t. He will never spoil a child but He will also grant ultra-protection and shielding when required. Yet our Father obviously knows that children must grow to adulthood properly. The fact that there is a future adulthood which must inevitably be embraced is a simple hard fact of life and it does no good to shy away from it. Therefore, it is far better to prepare and be prepared rather than run from reality regardless of how cold and hard that reality may be.

For perspective, consider the Lord Jesus Himself. He was once a beautiful baby and a wonderful precious child. He truly was that perfect child we otherwise idealize. Yet He too had to grow out of childhood and begin the difficult trip to His destiny. I would say no one ever prepared as much as He did or was ever prepared to such a degree by His chosen parents. And then the day came when the former beautiful precious child filled with laughter and joy—God’s perfect spotless Lamb—had to endure the worst physical suffering any man ever endured and die an extremely difficult, painful, and traumatic death. When the time of His arrest arrived the onset evil to which He was suddenly subjected quickly advanced exponentially. His treatment grew worse by the minute and it appeared that His Father and all His friends and family had completely checked out on Him leaving Him vulnerable to a cast of the most wicked people who ever lived. This represented quite the contrast between the Lord’s former life as the holy Lamb of God and the Sacrifice Lamb who became sin on our behalf. It is also a genuine illustration of the fallen world in which we live.

We see then, that the existent hard world filled with potential sin and misery which every child must venture into must somehow be overcome. These are simply the cold hard facts of the matter. It is what it is. It is why good people who strive to be good parents of their precious children have great pause when considering the task before them. They want to shield and protect their children and they must, of course, but must also allow for the appropriate growth their children need to eventually become strong overcoming adults that can properly handle the world, stay on top of things, not be overcome by the sin and evil thereof, and also excel as subject-to-attack spiritual warriors.

THE SPIRITUAL SOLUTION

“Yet even now,” declares the Lord,

“Return to Me with all your heart,

And with fasting, weeping and mourning;

And rend your heart and not your garments.” [Joel 2:12-13]

Without the Lord’s presence in one’s life and His guidance people have a tendency to develop the very opposite of what the Lord prescribes such as a hard heart enveloped in a thick callus. This is due to the constant ongoing irritating friction and pressure one undergoes in attempting to make it in life and overpower the opposition one is subjected to. It is often the case that otherwise good-natured people become hardened due to what they must endure. This process also often causes people to have a “thin skin” in that one under the pressure of coping gives rise to raw emotion, is offended rather easily, becomes triggered at intervals, and on occasion even becomes ready for a fight. It is not because such intermittent displays are in their inherent nature but are due to the load of difficult things they have to bear at any given time. Again, it is an illustration of this fallen sinful world in which we live in that otherwise tender loving people become less so over time and are often hardened simply by the realities of persevering.

The Lord would rather things be the other way around. Rather than having thick hearts and tender skin, He would rather we have tender hearts and thick skin. Without a tender loving heart one is simply unable to communicate with God or understand Him. And without a thick skin which allows one to be protected and shielded from incessant offenses and ongoing pesky attacks, one cannot overcome such things and will succumb and be defeated. A tender heart also allows one to have close loving relationships with family and friends, of course.

We see then that it is an act of God that makes it possible for one to stay tender-hearted as a child but also develop great strength, a thick skin, a strong mind, a powerful attitude, and a spiritual backbone (like a saw log) toward defeating anything and everything that would hinder one’s vitally necessary ability, gifting, purpose, and destiny to overcome in life rather than be overcome by it. For this God has a plan in which He can maintain the pure and holy hearts of children within the mature spiritual warriors He must create both for His purposes and for our greater welfare and standing in Him.

VICTORY IN JESUS

He knows that His people must be victorious. We want to be victorious. This means gaining the victory, keeping the victory, and being the ongoing constant victor against all spiritual enemies demands tender hearts and thick skin yet there is only one way such can ever happen. It is never through our own efforts because such is effectively impossible. It can therefore only occur due to an act of God.

Trying to achieve this on our own develops the very opposite of what we want. It should be obvious that our own efforts only develop the hard heart-thin skin paradigm. Yet this world demands that we deal with very difficult issues and those who try to overcome and gain victory without the Lord, again, bring about the very reverse effect of that for which they are striving. It is a conundrum, no? An even bigger conundrum for those who otherwise rightly embrace taking responsible authority for their lives is the idea that one must surrender to God to gain the good life they seek. Many people recoil at such an idea because surrender is perceived as a bad word promoting weakness and irresponsibility that cannot possibly result in anything good.

So we come full circle. Though we may want to retain a childlike joyful heart and seek happiness in life we are instead conditioned and even coerced into rejecting such idealistic notions in order to grow up, develop a stiff upper lip, and achieve on our own doing whatever we must. Yet this results in an effective destruction of childhood innocence in which we end up far from God and really don’t appreciate what we become.

The Lord’s approach is just the opposite in that we must not only maintain the joyful attitude of a child but embrace it (which represents a tender heart) while also developing into full responsible adulthood (which represents a thick skin).

Such knowledge should clarify one’s perception of the Lord’s attitude toward His children. He is obviously Good. He is Love. No One has greater love. He gave His very life for His children. However, He also chastens those whom He loves. He subjects them to spiritual trials. He allows for tribulations and suffering. He demands a high level of obedient discipleship. All of these things are necessary for the removal of the old paradigm and application of the new one.

They are designed to tenderize our hearts and thicken our skin.

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit.” [John 15:1-2]

“These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.” [John 15:11]

…We have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light.

For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. [Colossians 1:9b-14][1]

© 2025 by RJ Dawson. All Rights Reserved.

[1] Unless otherwise noted all Scriptures are taken from the New American Standard Bible, © 1960, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.